Confessions of an Imperfect Parent

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Difficulty: ***

Time: 1 hr 15 mins

Supplies: Solid cardstock in red, tan, and white, black ink, raffia, rub-ons, wooden heart button, patterned paper, shell beads

Comments: Super-quick layout. It was time for me to ‘fess up! Journaling:  Sometimes I tell Kenzie that she can’t lick the cookie beaters because of salmonella. Then when she leaves I lick them myself.

Despite my frequent claims to the contrary, I don’t really think of policemen as my “friends.” In fact, I’d rather avoid them altogether.

When I clean K’s room I throw away cheap McDonald’s toys, the pieces of fluff she likes to collect, and the rattiest stuffed animals. I bury them deep in the trash can so she won’t see them.

Sometimes I make Kenzie go clean her room-not because I care whether it’s clean, but because I know it’ll give me a peaceful hour to myself.

I get K to go the doctor by bribing her with root beer. Although I told the kids otherwise, we technically do have enough money in the bank account for the Shrek 3 video game, the giant box of Honeycomb cereal, and the Diego Slip-N-Slide.

I may have mentioned that K can’t have an ant farm because we aren’t allowed pets in this apartment. I may not have mentioned that she will never have an ant farm, no matter where we live.

Tips: Don’t be embarrassed… someday your kids will laugh with you over this.

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